Having just been utterly shocked by the information they learned through the President's secret computer, the Ne'er-Do-Wells made their way down the stairs of Fort McAndrew and toward the White House. As they tried to rush out of the complex President Dore's voice came on the intercom again. He warned them that he'd sent a little welcoming party to slow them down, and laughed gleefully as he did so. The Ne'er-Do-Wells payed no mind to this threat and charged forward, only to have their passage blocked by the most unseemly presence.
Glued to the walls of the relatively wide stairwell was the same green blob of a man they'd seen at the Mutants United gathering months before- the one they called Mucus. But he didn't seem himself. Instead of making some snide comment in his usual snorty lisp, he just started threateningly ahead. Another figure was with him, one they recognized from the time they investigated that string of magical thefts. And lastly, someone they had really come to trust- Alexi Nezhizen- was with them too, and obviously under the same influence that they'd found Valkyrie in. That mind-control serum they were producing at Fort McAndrew had been administered to everyone declared 'in custody' by the computer, and they'd have to fight their way through all of their old enemies if they hoped to reach their truest one.
So they braced themselves for battle. Page and Boanna focused their magical fire on the Superfluid, since no one dared to get too close to his sticky body. He retaliated with an attack he called 'Sniperfluid,' much to our heroes' amusement. The man with the magical amulet activated his powers too, and a pair of red flaming wings bloomed from behind him. Alexi was throwing sparks around the room and Page took a few hits before she could really activate her barriers. Just then, an even more unwelcome foe entered the fray. In a haze of purple the gang recognized Zinger, the speedster comedian. But he wasn't joking around this time. He flew at the Ne'er-Do-Wells with lightning-fast punches. Superfluid teamed up with his 'Superfluid Barrage,' but when he shot for Carrion his punch went wide and the zombie was able to redirect his gooey arm and catch the Zinger in it. Score one for the Ne'er-Do-Wells. Carrion tackled the Arcane Angel- or so he was called- and took him by the throat, letting the amulet slide onto his arm. In a feat of teamwork that had only ended horribly before Angus took the opportunity to knock the man out from behind, and the two of them high-fived. Alexi wasn't done yet though, and when he switched his glove to its flamethrower setting the team was hardly prepared for it. Angus's chest hair got a little singed. Boanna was unharmed, but Page was still injured, so Carrion ducked in front of her. He found that the amulet he took protected him from the fire entirely. After his failed attack the team disposed of Alexi easily, especially with the help of Evine's entangling thorns. In a feat of magical brilliance, both Page and Boanna focused their spells on the Superfluid; the magic combined and a bolt of hex-coated fire surged right at the goo-guy and melted him on the spot. Without much effort the fight was over.
Finding a nearby radio, the team decided to tell Shade that his 'friends' were under the President's influence, but taken care of. With Valkyrie in a shadowy web he came to meet them and, with the knowledge that they'd all be back to their senses soon, he promised to look after them while the Ne'er-Do-Wells found the President. They made their way out to the main floor and got another disturbing call. This time, the President was calling to apologize for having had Zinger be so late to the welcoming party. He told them that he was picking up some guests, and then he handed the phone he was communicating over to a familiar set of voices. The heroes recognized Lucy and Barnie, terrified and struggling. Gregor was there too and obviously bound as well, and- the President revealed- with a silver-loaded gun to his head. Knowing he had leverage over at least Carrion he welcomed them to join him next at the Washington Monument and cut off the call. The Ne'er-Do-Wells made their way there as quickly as they could.
The streets of DC were still empty, as it was well before morning for the waking world. But the area around the monument was eerily empty of security or anything. When they got there they saw, across the reflecting pool, only one person. Well, not so much a person as their old Dinosaur-rival, Cerebralsaurus Rex. He started across the pool and told them how easy it would all be for them if they'd just submit to the President's control. This wasn't him. Meanwhile, from the top of the Monument descended a shape that, as it got closer, Carrion recognized to be Constanza. She blankly said that she'd warned them all, and they let this happen. Lastly, a familiar pop was heard as Lily teleported onto the battlefield as strangely as she had to the California castle two months earlier. Like it or not, the Ne'er-Do-Wells were in for another fight.
Angus and Page charged first at Constanza, sure that Carrion wouldn't do it himself. When she dodged their attacks Carrion approached her and tried to snatch at her amulet, the source of her power. He failed once, but the second time he fought his heart and punched her unconscious, and with that she was out of the fight. He pocketed the amulet furtively and laid her to the side. Meanwhile, Boanna had begun to pursue her half-sister around and up the monument, and the two half-demons were flinging bolts of magic left and right as they flew and popped in and out of sight. Angus had begun to battle it out with Cerebralsaurus, whom he taunted with the question, "if dinosaurs are so great, how'd you get mind controlled by a human?!" They fought by the Monument while Page and Evine hurled magic their way. Boanna was holding her own against Lily, but any attempt to talk sense into her was met with a blank stare.
Angus and Cerebralsaurus were neck-and-neck, the "overgrown ostrich" failing to land a hit on Angus's chest of steel. Suddenly a trio of lightning bolts came from Page's direction, two of them going wide but a third striking Angus's axe like a lighting rod. Seizing the opportunity he swung his sparking axe at Cerebralsaurus, but missed entirely. He looked down at what he had done. The axe was firmly embedded in the Washington Monument. A steady crack began to grow from where he had struck and he knew it was over. Then, a devious idea hit him. If he channeled his power through the axe and into his body, he could make use of this mistake and do something totally badass in the process. He gave in to the temptation, letting his long-ignored magical potential rush through him. He lifted up the monument at its base and the others fled from the scene. He grinned, watching the terror grow in his enemy's eyes as he dropped all 555 feet of it onto his arch nemesis and crushed him utterly.
With Lily as their last remaining foe the group reconvened at the other side of the reflecting pool. Evine managed to tangle the swift demon in her vines, but a misfired punch from Carrion let her loose again. The group tried to catch up with her, but she dodged every blow they struck. Until Angus, the power and triumph still surging through him, approached with a wicked look in his eye. He wanted to hold back, but he couldn't help himself. Seeing that scantily-clad demoness again unleashed a full-on Uber-hard-on in her direction. While she was distracted fighting the others she failed utterly to dodge it, and she took four feet of Uberjack right down the throat. It was horrifying, and Boanna would never forgive him for defiling her sister like that.
With the fight over the Ne'er-Do-Wells had only one place left to look for President Dore. Remembering their talent for magical investigation, Boanna and Page devised to use Constanza as a focus for a scrying ritual that would lead them to her children. The results revealed that they were, in fact, at the White House. Boanna then called Puck to haul their defeated foes to safety. She snips a lock of Lily's hair for safe-keeping before she is dragged away. Still, the team was skeptical about their next move. What if this was all part of the President's plan? The computer did mention a fake assassination, so they worried that approaching him without any proof to their innocence would only and the world in more trouble. They had destroyed the computer out of anger, but Boanna and Page- the reasonable portion of the party- decided to go back to the fortress, repair it and use it later as evidence against the government. Carrion protested, arguing that they had to hurry and rescue the children, but his anger was met with a punch in the face from Angus. So the two magic-users hurried back to Fort McAndrew, repaired the computer and took the hard drive with them. Dore came on the radio to threaten that he still had his captives. Boanna responded that "they're not my children" and the two of them hurried back to meet the group.
So, the Ne'er-Do-Wells made a plan for their assault on the White House. Evine suggested that they'd be safer traversing her secret way- through the world of mirrors- just in case they found themselves trapped once they got there. She opened a portal in the reflecting pool and they walked through. It was a disorienting space, different worlds opening and closing before their eyes. She warned them that if they got lost there they might never find their way out. Eventually they navigated to mirror in the White House bathroom, where they all emerged into. It was cramped, but they pulled the mirror off the wall for an easy exit should they need it. Exploring the halls of the President's home base was odd. There was literally no one around. Angus worried that his plan was to evacuate and destroy the building, and frame the Ne'er-Do-Wells for the assassination plot. Carrion didn't care; Dore's plans would fail anyway if he was dead. So they marched along until they found the Oval Office, which was just as unguarded as the rest of the building. Without a second thought Carrion kicked down the door.
Inside it was exactly as Dore had promised. He was poised above Gregor, holding a gun to his head, and the children were being detained by- they never would have guessed- Jaws and Mungo, obviously being mind-controlled. The President made them an offer: for every one of them who submit to his serum, he'd release one of his captives. The group tried to negotiate- release Lucy as a measure of trust- but the President refused to budge. Carrion nearly agreed to it, but before he could speak Angus had charged across the room, axe in hand. He missed, of course, and went through the roof instead. The President remarked what a shame it was to see such promising young life go to waste and readied his gun, telling the two brutes to kill the children
In a feat of stunning coordination, The magic-using trio was able to secure the children before the fight even began. Page had teleported her way to Lucy and grabbed her right out of Jaws's hands. Evine created a barrier around Gregor so that the President's silver bullet was deflected easily. Boanna was able to blast her way over to Mungo and secure Barnie, and the two children were brought back to Evine's mirror. Carrion immediately charged Jaws; he'd fought him before, he wasn't afraid now that the kids were out of the way. He grappled him and, with the beast securely held, began to drain his vital energy. Within a minute he slumped to the ground unconscious, but Carrion refused to land the final blow while he was not in his right mind. President Dore aimed his gun at Blank Page and told her how much more sense it would make if she stood in front of him; her will broke and she became his slave, temporarily. Mungo still pursued the kids- he'd been ordered to kill- but Evine's barriers protected her and the mirror for a time. She knew she couldn't keep it up forever. Boanna released Gregor from his bindings once that barrier was down, and he channeled all of his rage into a beastly transformation. Before Boanna was a hulking bear, who lunged at the President angrily. Dore lifted his hand and the bear seemed to stop in mid-air, then he threw him against Boanna and she was pinned under an unconscious and naked Gregor.
Angus was still wrestling with Mungo while Evine took the children and made their escape into the mirror world. She wanted to get them as far from their enemies as possible, so she went through their DC apartment to the Castle near Sapphire City, and finally to her apartment. The mirror shattered behind them as Angus was grappled by Mungo, his overwhelming strength too much for even the Uberjack. Carrion was pacing toward the President, who used another one of is disturbing abilities to make him forget how to drain people. This didn't bother him. He moved Gregor off of Boanna so that she was free to act again, and she fired a hex at the President, weakening him slightly. Page too was focused on the lumbering Mungo. Meanwhile Carrion moved close enough to grab the president by the throat, hefting him over his desk. Boanna continued to fire her magic but everyone feared what Carrion would do. He looked Dore in the eye, told him he promised only to do this to people who really deserved it, and sunk his teeth into his jugular vein. The President was securely defeated, and Carrion brutishly pulled more and more flesh and blood from his body. Mungo, still under his control, had to stop this. He picked up a pieced of the rubble Angus had created and threw it at Carrion, but a complete misjudgment landed it right on the President's head, killing him instantly. Carrion was splattered with his remains and continued to gleefully eat.
When Mungo came to, he was immediately conscious of the fact that he had just murdered someone, something he vowed never to do. He charged through the White House wall, breaking out and running quickly away. Boanna pursued him in an attempt to comfort, and when she found him, he only asked her what it means to have a soul.
Later, the group reconvened at Constanza's DC apartment, where all of the unconscious and mind-controlled friends and foes were being stowed. Shade thanked the Ne'er-Do-Wells for their help and took his lot away, with a promise that they'd never have to deal with them again. When Lily woke up Boanna took her aside. They discussed their father and how, if it came to it, Lily wanted nothing more than to see him gone too. But she'd never, ever become what he was, and if Boanna tried to then she'd make a new enemy. Boanna summons Puck in private, to whom she entrusts the two locks of black hair she has collected. Puck complains that her friends Alexi and Mungo no longer want to speak with her. She recites a horribly offensive letter she had received from Alexi in which he refers to her as a sham, a stain on Ivy's pure and adorable memory. Boanna adds the Fuzzy Friends to her growing list and rejoins the group.
Constanza woke up too and noticed that her precious amulet, and her children, were missing. She begged Carrion to give it back to her, but he lied and said he didn't have it. The group saw through him and started to grope at his pockets in search of it, but he deflected them and went to comfort her. Evine chimed in over a hallway mirror, and the group was treated to a sight of the kids making a mess of Avalon and the elves making a mess of the President's computer. She promised to bring them back as soon as possible, but that didn't stop their mother from feeling lost. She told Carrion that she needed to feel in control of something, and he recognized that she was addicted to the power she'd had. He told her that she always had him and her family- a comment that made Angus declare he was 'whipped-' and she relented, saying that she'd try to make amends, "for us." She complained that she'd need a new wardrobe, looking down at her skeleton gown, and Carrion embraced her. Though Page tried to reach a hand between then and grope for the amulet, the moment was sweet and hopeful.
With all reunions finished, the Ne'er-Do-Wells parted ways after their last and greatest mission together, for now. Would they ever redeem themselves for having saved the President from those who knew his evil best, only to kill him later? Would they give new glory to the name that he gave them to begin with? Only the next adventure would tell.